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Part 3: Who does what when planning a wedding? The Parents & Co

What does the bride’s Mum do?

The bride’s mother usually works with the bride as the host of the reception. The first thing she does is draw up a guest list collaborating with the bride, groom and groom’s parents. She is often responsible for the ordering and sending out of wedding invitations. The replies are addressed to her and she makes a list of responses and arranges press announcements.

Guest list, invitations, press announcement

Another important responsibility of the brides’ mother is to draw up a seating plan. She also helps the bride with the ordering and delivery of the wedding cake. She helps the bride choose and book the photographer and the flowers.

Seating plan, orders wedding cake, flowers, books photographer

The mother of the bride orders and arranges table settings and takes care of any extras for example candles. She makes sure a change room for the bride and groom is available at the reception venue.

Table setting items

Mum organizes transport for the wedding party and makes sure the ushers know what to do and have the order of service to hand out to the wedding guests as they arrive at the service. She also makes sure the best man has the buttonholes.

Transport for wedding party

Wedding guests are greeted and welcomed to the reception by the bride’s mother as part of the receiving line. She arranges a display of the wedding gifts and takes charge of the gifts after the big day. During the reception she takes charge of the cake and ensures slices are sent to those unable to attend.

Displays and looks after wedding gifts and wedding cake

The brides mum is often called upon to collect proofs from the photographer. She takes any orders for photographs and passes these on to the photographer. She is then responsible for collecting and distributing of the wedding photographs to family and friends.

Photograph proofs and orders

Mood Board created by Rosena on

 What does the bride’s dad do?

His most important duty is to give the bride away. When my sister remarried my Irish dad jokingly said ‘I have already given her away once and I didn’t take her back, so why do I have to give her away again’ My Mum gave him a dig in the ribs. If the father is unable to give the bride away any male or female relative can be given this honor.

Travels with bride to church and gives her away     

Dad usually sets the budget if he is funding the wedding. Besides riding with the bride to the ceremony and giving the bride away he should make sure he is ready to receive the guests at the wedding reception as joint host with the bride’s mother.

Funds the wedding and hosts the wedding reception

If a minister has conducted the wedding service the father of the bride asks the minister to say grace at the wedding reception. Sometimes the father is called upon to make the first speech and toast at the wedding reception.

 Makes first speech and toast

Mood Board created by Rosena on

What does the chief bridesmaid do?

Her first and most welcome duty is to help the bride choose her wedding dress. She also helps select outfits for other female members of the wedding party. It is usually her responsibility to organize a hen party.

 Help choose wedding dress and bridesmaids’ outfits

The chief bridesmaid or matron of honor helps the bride get dressed for her big day. She usually arrives at the church before the bride. She waits for the bride and her father to arrive and keeps an eye on the other bridesmaids, flower girls and/or page boys. When the bride arrives she helps her arrange her veil and train before the bride begins the procession to the altar.

Helps bride dress, arranges veil and train for service

When the service is underway the chief bridesmaid looks after the bride’s bouquet. When the services is over she walks with the best man to sign the register. She gives the bouquet back to the bride after the signing. She usually leaves the church on the arm of the best man.

Looks after bouquet and wedding dress

She helps the bride into the car when she and the groom leave for the wedding reception. During the reception she takes care of the bouquet until the bride is ready to leave to get changed into her going away outfit. The chief bridesmaid usually takes charge of the bride’s dress when she leaves the reception. She will often help the bride’s mother with any clearing away.

What do the bridesmaids do?

They usually help with the selection of their outfits for the wedding. They help the bride with her veil, dress and train on the big day (if needed) before and after the wedding ceremony. They follow the chief bridesmaid and best man out of the church and travel with them to the reception venue. Sometimes they are asked to help with drinks and offer slices of cake to the wedding guest.

 What do the page boy and flower girl do?

Their main contribution is to look cute and loveable. They follow the wedding party into and out of the church and often add some light entertainment during the service and signing of the register.

What are the usher’s duties?

They arrive first at the church to direct guests to their seats. The bride’s family goes to the left hand side and the grooms to the right of the venue. They usually hand out the order of service, hymn and prayer books if required. They also hand out any buttonholes as requested. Sometimes more than one usher is needed and may have to organize parking.

Direct guest to seats & give out order of service

The main usher escorts the bride’s mother to the front pew on the left. Then he escorts the groom’s parents to their pew behind the groom and best man. He often gathers guests together for photographs and makes sure all guests have transport to the reception.

Escorts bride’s mother and grooms parents to their seats

Well hopefully the three part blogs will give you an outline of what duties and responsibilities are usual for each person involved in a wedding. The best thing to do is plan the wedding as carefully as you can then just enjoy the big day.

I invite you to play around with your wedding theme ideas on its a great way to see how things will look. There are hundreds of items for you to play around and it is fun.


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